Lianorm Telegraph #51 @24-10-2010
THE RETURN OF THE LIANORM TELEGRAPH
Under new management!
24-10-2010@Lianorm – by Azira – I sit here in my newly decorated office, my typewriter in front of me and the delicious scents of Naboo wafting through the open door. I’m really enjoying my new vocation so far, all five minutes of it! It is my pleasure to bring to you the Lianorm Telegraph once again, packed with all the exciting news, gossips and goings on in and around Lianorm, all for your enjoyment!
You’re probably wondering why this is Telegraph #51 and not #1. Well, that’s because this job used to belong to our dear aquatic comrade, Faas’li, who was renowned across the Galaxy for his awesome tools, but more locally as one of the resident polluters of the lovely Lianorm Lake to our North. Sadly, Faas’li had to surrender his Master Telegraph skills more than five years ago and has since disappeared to the outer rim. He re-appeared about a year ago but decided that he wasn’t quite ready to settle back down and took off on his adventures once again.
That leaves me here, ready and willing to pick up the burden of Editor in Chief of the Lianorm Telegraph: The Next Generation for all you hungry readers out there. I have to say it’s a welcome distraction from my usual medic duties — after you’ve seen so many severed arms, bleeding arteries and gouged eyeballs they simply aren’t any fun anymore!
Anyway, I know you’re just itching to get your paws and tentacles on some of the great news stories I’ve got lined up for you! Besides that, there will be other content too, such as announcements, a gossip column, competitions, interviews, a problems page and the triumphant return of the much-loved “Do you know that…?” column.
The Telegraph will be delivered bi-weekly courtesy of Mayor Alyxa, who has kindly allowed me to use her comms terminal to ensure its safe delivery to all citizens of Lianorm.
So, here’s to the new telegraph — I hope you enjoy it!
Alyxa says “Do you know that…”
– That the Galactic Moon Festival is upon us again?
– That nobody finds it fun anymore?
– That the alley between the cloner and the cantina is haunted?
– That -Wolf has a baby gnort living in his beard?
FAMOUS ARMOURSMITH VICIOUSLY MURDERED BY CRAZED PEKO-PEKO
After cloning, Ludissk calls in the Militia
24-10-2010@Lianorm – by Azira – Serious pest infestation around the Lianorm factory park prompted our resident ubber-armoursmith, Ludissk, to call in the Militia recently. She was attending to her factories, minding her own business when she was savagely attacked by a bug-eyed, lunatic peko-peko albatross. After cloning and returning to the scene three times only to find the bird finish picking the bones of her previous two corpses clean, she decided that enough was enough and called in the Militia. Elusia promptly arrived on the scene and dispatched the beast, stripping it of its pristine feathers and handing them to Ludissk as consolation. Ludissk only had one comment on the matter, “Lol they still drop,” and hasn’t been seen since. She is no doubt in hiding, plotting her revenge on the peko-peko infestation around Lianorm. Perhaps we’ll see some new bounties on the boards soon?
Wanted: Journalists and columnists needed to make contributions for the new Lianorm Telegraph. Do you have someone or something to write about? Mail your story to Azira to see it in the next edition of the Telegraph.
Wanted: Agony aunt and/or problem solver required to help the angst ridden citizens of Lianorm who might have a problem. Send applications on a postcard to Azira.
——- Gossip column ——–
Our Mayor has been spotted exchanging whispers with a strange Imperial Officer in Lianorm this week. Is Mayor Alyxa finally over the death of her husband or is she planning something sinister with the Imperials? Watch this space!
Anish’s purchases cause a stir
Our resident architect, Anish, was glimpsed this week on the way back to her tree house with a very interesting hauling haul indeed: three chocolate fountains and a torture table schematic. One observer noted that that part of Lianorm had been dropping in standards recently. Could this mean we can expect the opening of “Mistress Anish’s House of Pain” in the near future?
THE GALACTIC MOON FESTIVAL IS HERE (again)
It’s the same as last year, but different!
24-10-2010@Lianorm – by Azira – The benevolent Mighty Jabba the Hutt has decided to throw the Galactic Moon Festival once again (sigh). No doubt you’ve read the shocking reviews about this event in other journals, so I won’t even begin to say how bad it is. But in order to break from the regular monotony of this event, Mayor Alyxa has decorated the town centre and announced a competition and a prize for the Lianorm citizen who can create the spookiest, weirdest, and/or coolest scene using the storyteller equipment available from the Event organiser in Keren Hotel. What the prizes are, nobody quite knows, but this reporter has heard it’s going to be a little bit more than just the usual etched glasses that are normally given away when our Mayor throws an event!
So get creative and get into the mood of the season everyone. I hope to be scared witless next time I turn a blind corner in Lianorm!
—–End of edition—–
Copyright: Azira – Lianorm, Naboo, Eclipse Galaxy
Lianorm Telegraph archive: http://bit.ly/lia-telegraph
Join the Lianorm City Chat in-game: /chatroom join swg.eclipse.lia
Editor’s note: To view earlier editions of the Telegraph, please visit the Lianorm Telegraph archives on the MMOZone Forum.