Lianorm Telegraph #52 @07-11-2010
SPOOKY GOINGS ON SPARK COMPLAINTS
Azarken is very put out by his neighbour’s GMF celebration
07-11-2010@Lianorm – by Azira – I managed to make out the words “Unbelievable! Totally unacceptable!” coming, muffled from under the mask of the figure stood on his doorstep. His pristine built abode, Naboo-coloured brick paint barely dry, stands proudly next to one of Lianorm Lake’s tributaries on the western shores of the town. “These cobwebs are going to ruin everything! And look! The force-laden Dathomirian spider shit is making the grass grow at quadruple the normal speed!” Azarken is most displeased with his neighbour Lacuna for creating a huge display of spider-webs, tomb-stones and white wispy creeping plants in the vicinity of her home and shop. Upon waking the next morning Lacuna was dismayed to see that most of her decorations had been kicked down or had disappeared entirely! “They were really expensive!” she huffed as she spotted a card-board cutout of a gravestone float gently by on the river. Azarken was unavailable for comment on the matter.
Alyxa says “Do you know that…”
– Vir vurs are not native to Naboo, but to Rori?
– Vir vurs were first introduced to Naboo by a young rabbit-enthusiast and former citizen named Denizz?
– A team of vir vurs is kept by the Mayor to keep the grass in Lianorm neatly trimmed?
– Dathomirian spider poop is very sticky and makes vir vurs vomit for 24 hours?
DEPUTY MAYOR WREAKS TERROR ON UNSUSPECTING REBELS
-Wolf FreeLoader makes a fashion statement and switches from red to blue
07-11-2010@Lianorm – by Azira – Lianorm’s Deputy Mayor — a long standing Rebel supporter — is now openly operating under the Imperial flag. This was announced with a very public display of force in a Keren battle last week which resulted in the slaughter of a dozen bewildered Rebels. The bodies of the dead were brought to the slab at the Theed Medical Centre with a look of sheer incredulity embedded upon their faces by rigor mortis.
A recent cloning accident meant the end of Wolf- FreeLoader. Instead of his notoriously roguish self appearing in the cloning tube (rumour has it that he fell down steps of his YT-1300 and landed awkwardly on his head), -Wolf FreeLoader instead stepped out as a completely new entity, with all of Wolf-’s memories but not his experiences. With his criminal slate wiped clean -Wolf has been reinventing himself and has taken up arms against the Rebellion. These events also mark a growing trend towards Imperialism in the Galaxy, about which some citizens had this to say:
Bioge: “I don’t think it’s so bad. The rebs here have been ruling the roost for too long. Besides, it gives me more Imps to waste.”
Azarken: “I personally always liked the Imp side. Funner toys and no moral code.”
—– Gossip column —–
Shocking rumours corroborated by the city travel logs this week revealed that our beloved Mayor shuttled to Tatooine one evening and didn’t return to her Lianorm abode until the following morning! It’s widely known that she is on leave from her Imperial business in Bestine and Tatooine isn’t exactly a top holiday location for bothans. That only leaves us to conclude that this trip was of a more personal nature. “The sand gets stuck in our fur and really itches,” noted one bothan pedestrian questioned outside Theed Starport, “Certainly not a place we would choose to go to unless we had a very good reason!”
Do you have an Ad you would like to place in the Lianorm Telegraph? Perhaps a shop or a sale you’d like to tell everyone about? Send a mail to Azira with a draft of your advertisement to see it featured in the next issue of the Telegraph.
The Lianorm Telegraph is pleased to announce the winner of the GMF Spooky Storyteller Display competition: Lacuna! For those of you who didn’t get to see it, a screenshot can be found here: http://bit.ly/gmf-lacuna The winner is invited to contact the Mayor as soon as possible to collect her prize!
Mayor Alyxa is proud to announce the birth / hatching of her new pet Vir Vur. He was hatched today in the presence of his loving parent here in Lianorm. He is as yet unnamed, so we are open to suggestions. The new Vir Vur was engineered by Oddi to have the best and sharpest teeth possible for exceptional grass-keeping. We hope that the new Vir Vur will be happy here in Lia and that Alyxa won’t let him die too much as he levels his grass-mowing skills.
TATOOINE OASES – Part I
The first instalment of Hurst’s Tatooinian fishing adventures
25-10-2010@Lianorm – by Hurst Quayzar – The sand and twin suns were breaking my spirit as I crossed the desert. Crashing near the legendary Krayt Dragon Graveyard of Tatooine, I gathered all I could carry and headed north, narrowly escaping several of the dragons that wanted me for lunch. The super solar flares from the duel suns must have sent my computer interface into total shut down. I guess I should have paid for that latest update when I had my ship in for service after all. After traveling about 1140m north, at a waypoint of +6645 +5453, I could not believe my eyes. Was it a mirage or really a small patch of water on Tatooine? I quickly scampered down the side of the mountain, diving off of an edge, splashing into its cool goodness. Oh it felt wonderful after along afternoon of torturing heat.
I was embarrassed as a patron of the area questioned me. “This place is called Pika Oasis. What business do you have here?” I told him of my near death experience with my spacecraft and my episode with the Krayts. I concluded my story on how wonderful it was to have a watering hole on Tatooine like this. He told me of other places that had water. “Rare”, he said with a slight smile, his skin leathered by the suns, “But hard to locate.” He fed me some Bantha Jerky and gave me some transportation. He wished me luck as I told him that I needed to see these other wonders for myself. “Run directly south about 6000m and you will find another hole,” he smiled pointing south.
To be continued….
LIANORM DROPS OFF THE FISHING LEADERBOARD / NEW FISHING CORRESPONDENT
07-11-2010@Lianorm – by Hurst – Greetings to all. I am Hurst Quayzar, city resident, an Officer of the Rebel Alliance, Novice Pilot and now, a proud correspondent for the Lianorm Telegraph. I have recently been invited to report on the galaxies fishing strategies and reports, so I will get down to it.
Last week was brutal to say the least. Lianorm had fallen to 5th place at last report, with just a handful of citizens making it onto the weekly leader board. I was able to hang onto 6th place, however, Iv’va and Alyxa fell off the leader board all together. Trying to catch anything greater than .80 meters proved to be both tiresome and frustrating. On my travels though, I have noted that the fish meat on Tattooine is of the highest quality (972) and potential energy (954) that I have seen in months. For you chefs, this might be an excellent ingredient for your upcoming recipes. Shoot us a point of drop off point and purchase price to start building your fish meat inventory. For those filleting your fish out there, Vegahash can be your friend! Verified on 04-11-2010. Not sure how long this will last, so get fishing soon. As always, I will try and help those who wish to assist in making Lianorm reach the top spot…
INTERVIEW WITH A NEW CITIZEN
Azira interviews a new citizen: Azarken Talamasca!
* Let me begin by welcoming you to Lianorm! Our first question is quite obvious: how did you come to live in Lianorm?
I moved to Lianorm because tatooine made my eyes bleed. the desolate landscape didnt appeal to my carrot crunching cider drinking nature.
*I understand you’ve recently returned to the game (SWG). How are you finding it so far? Is it tough to get back into?
The learning curve when I came back was immense. I cannot give enough credit to wolf iv’va alyxa bioge but especially iaklub and lacuna for helping me relearn the game. Im an elder in age only not in experience and will never forget this.
*Are you enjoying your new guild, NEI?
NEI is the pinnacle of guilds. No faction pressure period = the win for me.
*Do you have any plans for the future? What professions would you like to try out? What are your expectations of the game?
At some point Im keen to try bh to try a different flavour of pvp but right now im keen to the be best jedi people expect of me. So many people have helped me with this class I feel i owe a small debt to be the best I can be for them.
*And what do you hope to find and achieve in Lianorm?
Lianorm is a soulbinding. In essense a swg home. rolling scenery. good people. stocked vendors. almost a spiritual soul for swg.
*Have you already joined a faction (Rebel or Imperial) and why?
I’ve played both factions. currently rebel but planning to switch to imp later. why? bad guys are more fun and the armours snazzier.
*Do you like the Naboo system? Or does your preference lie with another planet?
tatooine was my traditional home but naboos turned me around
*What do you think of the Eclipse community in general? Are they friendly?
Eclipse has been since day 1 the place for me. transfers are for quitters like AA!
*Lastly, we’d love to know what you think of the people in Lianorm. Have you met many of them? Any gossip going around?
I hear lacuna uses slave labour and Iaklub keeps several gorillas in his house for personal pleasure.
*Thank you for this interview, and have lots of fun in Lianorm!
—–End of edition—–
Copyright: Azira – Lianorm, Naboo, Eclipse Galaxy
Lianorm Telegraph archive: http://bit.ly/lia-telegraph
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