Lianorm Telegraph #56 @09-01-2011
NEW YEAR CELEBRATIONS FIZZLE OUT
Hurst’s fireworks display goes awry
09-01-2011@Lianorm – by Azira – Telegraph reporter and Fishing Correspondent Hurst Quayzar had big plans for this year’s New Year’s celebrations. He had in mind a “serious” fireworks display to mark the event with a bang. However, a shipment of faulty fireworks from Mon Calamari sabotaged the event. At the turn of the year, Hurst lit the fuse and watched it pop and fizzle merrily as it progressed along its short line into the fireworks packages he had arranged at the corners of each of Lianorm’s Main Square gardens. All seemed to go as planned until the fireworks launched themselves into Naboo’s atmosphere. Only one from the set of eight went off, creating a pretty but rather meagre display in the skies above Lianorm. Hurst commented, “Maybe it’s just from where I am standing, but that seemed like an “Epic Fail”. Better luck next year Hurst, and avoid those fishy fireworks in future. Happy New Year Lianorm!
DISTRAUGHT MAYOR IS OFFICIALLY BIO-LESS
Have you seen Alyxa’s biography?
09-01-2011@Lianorm – by Azira – Mayor Alyxa was fishing on the gloomy banks of Dathomir the other day when she suddenly felt as though she was missing something. She searched her inventory and backpack but all her possessions were accounted for. Whatever it was, she knew it was important to her and she had to find out what was absent! Only when she carefully examined herself did she realise what it was. Her five-year-old bio was missing! Distressed, Alyxa dropped her rod and immediately fled home to Lianorm to search her records for a copy so that she may replace the missing bio. Alas, there was no copy to be found anywhere. Alyxa sniffily issued this appeal to everyone in Lianorm, “Please, please check your records and holovid captures to see if you have any that contains a record of my bio. It is very dear to me and defines who I am. If you find anything, please contact me right away so that I may feel whole again. I will not think any less of you for making screenshots of me.” Alyxa promises a handsome reward for the person who turns in her bio unharmed.
Azira says “Do you know…”
– That Alyxa did not feel like writing Do You Knows this week
– That writing the Telegraph is a lot of fun?
– That we have a playwright living among us in Lianorm?
– That he’s writing a production, especially for Lianorm?
– That although a Twi’lek’s lekku contain part of their brains, they are never covered by armour?
CLOUD CAR MAKES GALACTIC TRAVEL QUICK AS A LOADING SCREEN
Iv’va’s Cloud Car can take you anywhere! (So long as it’s Tatooine or Dantooine)
09-01-2011@Lianorm – by Azira – Kind Deputy Mayor Iv’va Problem recently donated the use of his Twin Pod Cloud Car to the convenience of the residents of Lianorm, having programmed its automated systems to take you anywhere in the Galaxy. However, a bug in the manufacturer’s programming limits the vehicle’s possible destination to only two places. Another bug only recognises planets that end in ‘tooine’. Iv’va, who had left the purchase receipt for the craft in the pocket of his other trousers before taking them to be laundered, is sadly powerless to get the problem fixed. Therefore, he set the two programmable destinations to the most useful he could think of: Dantooine (outside Forghyl’s buff house), and Tatooine in the heart of the other NEI-operated city, Bandit’s Hideout. So if you need to take a quick trip to either of these places, head on over to Iv’va’s little round public house (jawa beer on tap) behind the City Hall, at -835 963 Thank you Iv’va for your generosity, and the beer!
FREELOADER’S CUNNING COMBAT COLUMN
Beginning this week, -Wolf FreeLoader’s new column examines an aspect of combat, defence or the gaming system in each issue. This one’s for all you Hunters and Huntee’s out there. Learn a thing or two about Bounty Hunter Droids!
Seekers and Probots are a Bounty Hunter’s best friend when searching for a player bounty, but sadly they come with limitations. You can’t call them everywhere and sometimes they will report back a strange location.
If you find you can’t call a droid, for example, when you’re standing on Mustafar, you can call the droid before you shuttle to the planet. Send the droid off to seek the target and quickly get a ticket to Musty before it sends its first reports back to you and you’ll have no trouble tracking targets on the fire planet.
If your droid reports an odd location name, you can be sure these are instances or PVP areas. Usually there is a hint as to what the location is in the name itself. Knowing where the instance exits points are means you can set up camp there and wait for your quarry to finish. For example, the Imperial Star Destroyer instance always drops people just in front of Coronet Starport. Learn these spots to your advantage. Killing someone who is loading still counts, no matter how much they might cry about it.
* WANTED / TRADE: Looking for the “Loyalty” painting from this years Life Day Festival. I have two “Compassion” paintings that I am willing to trade plus cash if need be. This will be going into the Lianorm Hunting Lodge in town. The Hunting Lodge is still under construction and I am looking to complete the set. Any Questions, please contact Hurst or Camaro Quayzar. Thank You!!!
* Lianorm Residents! In an effort to promote fishing in our city, Camaro has graciously manufactured several Rod -n- Reels and has sponsored a vendor for the Lianorm Family. These can be found at the vendor located in the office of Lianorm’s Hunting Lodge. The price is a mere 1 Credit. My only request is 1 per customer please.
Dr. IAK’S PROBLEM CORNER
If you have a problem, send a mail to Dr. Iaklub. He has the solution!
Dear Dr Doctor Iaklub
I am writing about a rather embarrassing problem that has afflicted me.
Recently a Gnort took up residence in my beard. At first it was a wonderful symbiosis offering much joy and comfort, but alas things are changing and for the worse. The gnort was of the female persuasion and as such has given birth to more gnorts than I know what to do with. Now they not only reside in my beard but have travelled southwards. It is causing terrible itching in my pants and I am at the point where I do not know what to do. Please, please help me!
Yours hopefully, Lupine Scrounger
Poor personal hygiene is the cause of your problems. I know getting decent personal grooming products is difficult but you must try to do so. None of that standard issue Imperial rubbish will help you.
Another thing that will have to happen is that you will need to evict the gnort family and as quickly as possible. This will mean shaving off your beard and maybe some waxing in other areas. If you are rather hairy I suggest holding a charity wax to make some money out of it.
As for the itching, I’m sure a chat with -Wolf Freeloader will produce some rather useful creams and ointments as he is a master of scratching himself in public.
THE FISHING COLUMN
09-01-2011@Lianorm – by Hurst – Wow, did we tear the fishing world up last week or what?! Oh, where are my manners. I am Hurst Quayzar, reporting in from the forests of Endor. Yes, the Ewokians have been very cordial and have actually shared a great fishing spot with me. But that is a different story.
Again, Wow! We had 4 people in the top ten. 2nd – Kadrette, 6th – Hurst, 8th – Iv’va and 9th – Kadnance. Kadrette actually stormed the leader boards last week in the late hours which helped solidify NEI and Lianorm’s position in the top spot! Nice job Kadrette!
This week has been a struggle however. Kadrette, Kadance and I were in the top 10, while Lianorm barely hung onto 2nd place. NEI, however, scored big, taking the top spot yet again this week. As possibly the newest member of the guild, I say “Congrats” to you all in NEI.
Azira interviews a returning citizen: Kapitein Archibald!
*Kapi, welcome back to Lianorm. You’ve lived here on-and-off for a number of years. Let me ask, how did you come to settle here in the first place?
Some 6 years ago I won the game in a contest and found Eclipse and Lianorm through http://www.starwarsgalaxies.nl. I joined the UL guild first, then GRF and later of course Synergy. The game back then and the great community kept me around for a long time, basically until a few months after the NGE.
*I understand you’ve recently returned to the game. How are you finding it so far? Is it tough to get back into?
I feel like I’m just getting the hang of it again. There is lots of new content and plenty of stuff to do. However, the community isn’t as close as it used to be and there seem to be a lot less players.
*Please remind us, what profession are you? Do you have any factional preferences?
I’m a smuggler of course! Back before the prefab professions I always used a pistol, being a pistoleer, a smuggler, a bounty hunter, and a squad leader for example.
Concerning factions I do not really have a preference. I always was a rebel, until the Empire rounded up GRF and I was forced to turn Imperial and join Synergy.
*Do you still enjoy living on Naboo? Or does your preference lie with another planet?
Naboo’s a bit too wet for me. I prefer Lok or Tatooine. Much more business for a smuggler like me too.
*Are you enjoying your new guild, NEI?
Yes, I love it! It’s a great guild with a lot of great and helpful people. Being in an active guild is important to enjoy the game.
*Have you met many other members of the Eclipse community? What do you think of them? Are they friendly?
Not too many to be honest, I have no clue where everyone is. This is what I miss compared to the old days; no one needs a smuggler anymore! Before other players often needed smugglers for slicing and I met a lot of customers like that.
*Do you have any stories from Old Lianorm you’d like to share with us? Do you miss those days?
Oh there are so many stories! From the battle of Lianorm, to Lianorm’s Lekkerste (I still have my award in my bank).
*Do you have any plans for the future? What professions would you like to try out? What are your expectations of the game?
I hope to try a lot of the new content, collect some cool new pistols, become a master pilot, and gathering all my underworld rep. I wouldn’t re-roll Kapi I think, but maybe an alt to try out something else, possibly non-combat.
*Lastly, we’d love to know what you think of the new Lianorm community. Have you met many of them? Any gossip going around?
No gossip from me, but maybe someone has some gossip for me: I am still looking for my wife, Rismu. Haven’t seen her in years, but maybe someone else has?
*Thank you for this interview. I hope you enjoy living in Lianorm for a long time to come!
—–End of edition—–
Copyright: Azira – Lianorm, Naboo, Eclipse Galaxy
Lianorm Telegraph archive: http://bit.ly/lia-telegraph
Join the Lianorm City Chat in-game: /chatroom join swg.eclipse.lia