Lianorm Telegraph #63 @01-05-2011
GRAFT ROCKS LIANORM
Mayor Alyxa caught with 150k treasury money!
24-04-2011@Lianorm – by Bioge – Alyxa, the much beloved leader and mayor of Lianorm was caught withdrawing 150,000 credits from Lianorm Treasury this week. Her reason? Because it was 150,000 credits!
Sources close to the mayor revealed its a lot more complicated than just a 150,000 credit withdrawal, that many good citizens are involved.
The theft was first discovered when Tauvo entered the Town Hall, intent on a larceny spree of his own, demanding “all they had” to fuel his ever-increasing spice habit and cheap entertainers. The Town Clerk Wolf told him there was nothing to be had, and after a short, but violent exchange of blaster fire, Tauvo was subdued and arrested. Following his arraignment, Tauvo was released and was last seen in a Mos Eisley watering hole.
Upon further investigation, the missing funds were traced to Mayor Alyxa. A confidential city memo stated her reason for withdrawal was simply because it was there.
Recent photos have surfaced with some late night meetings with Mayor Alyxa and Darth Vader: could he be showing her some of his Dark Side “moves?”
Despite these recent scandals, Mayor Alyxa is still much beloved by Lianorm. “I think we should rename one of our many parks “Alyxa’s Alley” said a star-struck Bioge.
PEKO-PEKO PLAGUE HITS LIANORM
Crafters run in fear of albatross in the factory park
27-04-2011@Lianorm – by Azira – Spring has brought the world out into a state of renewal. The leaves are green, plantlets are sprouting, and all the creatures of Naboo are out multiplying themselves. The peko-peko are no exception, and many nests have been spotted out on the open plains, all guarded by proud parents who normally don’t mind strangers passing by.
Not all peko are good-natured about this however, as Mayor Alyxa recently found out when she stumbled over a peko nest as she tended to her factory in the factory park to the east of Lianorm. An enormous peko-peko albatross took exception to her presence and set about pecking the tiny bothan, who ran as fast as her little legs would carry her back to the safety of Lianorm. However, upon hearing her screams, a heroic Iloc Tarrax, who had been enjoying a book on his porch nearby, leaped up and raced to the scene and put the savage beast down. He was later seen coming back to Lianorm cradling several peko eggs in his arms. No doubt he had a good supper that night!
Wolf says “Do you know that…”
– Wolf rarely bathes? (He showers!)
– The fishing waters around Lianorm are also a strong source of calcium from the rock beds?
– It’s rare for Trandoshans to have siblings as often the first hatched will consume the rest as a first meal?
– The royal wedding is an excuse to have a day off work and get drunk?
– The Bothan waiters in Lianorm diner often touch the tableware with inappropriate body parts?
IS BIOGE GOING IMPERIAL?
Active GCW’er seeks to switch sides
24-04-2011@Lianorm – by Azira – After topping the GCW Rebel leader board for her third time, Bioge is considering a move to the Imperial faction. “We are presently in discussions with Imperial personnel at the Lake Retreat,” said Peaguses, Bioge’s agent. “Besides the standard amnesty package for all crimes against the Empire, we are in positive discussions over contract options, merchandising, and clauses for occasional pirate activity.”
Also on the table, are the length of contracts, “Personally, I think the 2 year contract is sexy, but the Imperial’s 3-4 year packages hold a lot of merit.”
When questioned about her motives for the faction switch, Bioge had these words, “Well it all started when the president of the Rebel League threw up on me during an awards dinner. I hope the Imperials have better table manners.”
We’re always happy to hear your comments regarding anything published in the Telegraph. Just send us a letter to see it published in the next issue. You may even get a response!
RE: Lianorm Telegraph #62 @17-04-2011 – Page 1
I do not steal canes from old ladies… they are precious resources… and the ladies are better off without anyway.. If I were stealing them that is.
Dear Tauvo. While the valuable nature of old ladies’ canes cannot be denied, this is not the kind of resource one can take for granted. Need I remind you about the dangers of angering an old lady who has a cane in one hand and a hefty handbag in the other? Many a young man has passed through the medical centre with contusions and a concussion after attempting to relieve a senior citizen of her walking stick. Whilst old-lady-cane-mining may be a lucrative business, for your own safety it is my duty to recommend you revert to traditional resource gathering methods using a harvester in order to avoid serious injury.
GUIDE: HOW TO USE THE TRAVEL WAYPOINTS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE
One resident tells how he gets the most out of Lianorm’s Travel perks
28-04-2011@Lianorm – by Kadresse – As most of us know, we have extra travel waypoints accessible through the datapad. We seem to be quite good at fishing and thanks to Hurst, Alyxa, Iloc, Iv’va and others, the travel points provide great functionality. We can warp from anywhere (except within instances) to Bandits Hideout, Lianorm, Dant Mining OP and Coronet Starport. With an ITV you can get almost anywhere in the blink of an eye. Add a snowspeeder pickup to your skills and the galaxy is wide open!
These are some of the uses I make of them and hope you do too:
- Underground bunkers/caves and Mustafar are easy to get out of, instantly and free.
- You can pop out a snowspeeder within 10m of where you land in Lia or BH, or use an ITV to get to any planetary location quickly.
- Forghyl’s buffhouse city waypoint has been placed on the other side of Dant MOP: you can now warp from Forghy’s to the starport, and you don’t even need to stand up from his buff chair!
- Getting to Serendipity’s mall is simple with the Forghy point, and the array of cloud cars available there can take you to every major attraction in the galaxy.
- Going to Aurillia? Hop to Coronet and you’re within 100 meters of the travel guide.
- Warp directly from an entertainer to Lia or Bandits. If I need to return to the entertainer for a rebuff, I’m still watching (OK, semi-sploit that one).
- Selling space parts on Kash? One hop to MOP (Forghy) and a skip to Kashyyyk and you’re a mere 5 meter walk from the chassis dealer.
I’m sure I missed some innovative ways to use the travel points and would like to know more. Share your favourite methods for quick-n-easy galactic travel in the Telegraph so that we all may benefit!
FREELOADER’S CUNNING COMBAT COLUMN
This week we have more smuggler blurb, from the smuggest of all smugglers, -Wolf FreeLoader!
Back in the day, you’d get a sizable bonus from changing stance depending on the combat situation. This all changed with the CU which eradicated the bonuses. When the NGE first arrived, you couldn’t even attack from any stance other than standing!
SOE realised this was stupid and wrong and set about revamping the NGE’s combat system, and along with this came the reimplementation of stances and a reason to use them.
If you’re a melee user you’ll be stuck standing no matter what, but carrying this knowledge will help you understand what your opponent is doing and how that affects your damage output.
- Standing. The basic point of all attacks. Standing still, rather than running around,l will help your chance to hit the target, but also make you more likely to BE hit. There is no penalty to defence vs melee.
- Crouching/kneeling. You can’t move while crouching, but it will improve your chance to hit a lot more than standing still and also, vs ranged attacks, improve your chance of defending against them. There is a slight penalty to defence vs melee.
- Prone/laying down. You can move while prone, but it will mess up your special attack usage, so don’t do it! On your belly you have a greatly improved chance of hitting and defending against ranged attacks. However, there is a sizable penalty to defence vs melee. There is also a caveat about going prone due to the poor way the NGE handles client prediction, if you dodge/roll, you will have ‘moved’ and your ability to fire specials will not work for a couple of seconds while the server catches up to what your client is doing. If this is ever fixed, going prone will be the best to use vs ranged attacks.
As it is now, crouching is the only sensible way. Against melee attacks, always be on your feet!
JOB AVAILABLE: Elusia seeks able and willing Engineer to craft two portable bazaar terminals. You will be well compensated for your time and resources. Please contact Elusia if you are interested in the job.
NEW VENDORS: Synergy Industries, operated by Alyxa, is now in business in the Lianorm Mall. On offer you can find reasonably priced crates of camps and a small selection of furniture. New stock will be added soon! *small print* Also available for a limited time is a small selection of specialised goods designed to be ingested for psychotropic enhancement. Negotiations welcome. /wink
WANTED: Attention all Foragers! Sell me your foraged bait! That’s right, Camaro’s Vendor inside of the Lianorm Hunting Lodge, along the main bridleway, is offering 10cpu for Worm, Insect and Grub Bait. You like to forage? We like the Bait. So don’t discard that bait, bring it on down to the Bait and Tackle Vendor for a few extra credits.
THE FISHING COLUMN
30-04-2011@Lianorm – by Hurst – Pretty Purple Pansies? That’s right! I said it. And the fishing on Dantooine isn’t all that bad either. Well Lianorm, you have blown me away. The week of the 21st, Iloc and I led the charge for Lianorm. Iloc, landing a 1.017 Blackfish, smoked the competition for the city. I was able to hang onto 1st place with him right behind me on the Individual Leader Boards. But we were not alone. Alyxa and Azira also contributed big catches to boost Lianorm’s position to 1st place. This past week, Lianorm rose to the challenge with a vengeance. We had 5 people in the top 10 on the Individual Leader Boards. Talk about scoring BIG! Lianorm again, reached the 1st place spot with ease. I didn’t see the final scores, but I believe it went down something like this: Iloc took 2nd Place, 3rd went to Alyxa, Kadrette stormed the Boards and overran 4th Place in the late running, and I barely hung onto 6th place with Iv’va pulling in 10th.
After the recent announcement surrounding the mystery of Lianorm’s extra City travel points, there has been some discussion in the local cantina and various venues around Lianorm, about how Iv’va actually recorded his record Blowfish back in December. Several speculate bait; some believe it was technique, while most have actually said it was pure luck. However, our very own Iloc has mentioned that a bicycle pump and an extravagant tubing arrangement, was seen in Iv’va’s possession during this time frame. One can only imagine what could be done to a Blowfish with a bicycle pump. Iv’ve could not be reached for comment and this reporter respects another fisher way too much to push the issue. I just report what I hear and what happens.
Just a side note here to get you pumped up to fish: ’Storm Haven’ has achieved the 1st place spot 13 times historically as of last week. Lianorm has achieved the 1st place spot 12 times. You see where I am going with this, right? You know what we must do, right? That’s right! We need to saturate the Fishing Leader Boards with Lianorm Residents to ensure our city ties and surpasses ‘Storm Haven’ in the next couple of weeks. We will show the Galaxy and our close rival, just who the Striped Fish of Endor bow to!
—–End of edition—–
Copyright: Azira – Lianorm, Naboo, Eclipse Galaxy
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